an unexpected boon

Mine has always been a very difficult muse to pin down. She can be at times fickle, scattered and even maddeningly unresponsive. Consequently, I can go for long periods without finding the words necessary to express myself creatively. Because of this phenomenon, I admit to having had second thoughts about starting this writer’s blog. That coupled with the fact that I simply haven’t been putting in the kind of time to make it viable. I’ve waffled for weeks about whether or not to simply delete it and find other avenues to explore my writing process. I’ve come close a time or two, but something always kept me from pushing that button. Now I’m really glad that I didn’t.

Late last week I received an alert letting me know that somebody had commented on one of my posts. As it was the first time this had ever happened in the five months I’ve had this blog, I was instantly curious. Imagine my surprise when I found that the comment was from one of the editors I had lost touch with when I fled Phoenix three years ago. After tracking me down through this very blog, he wanted to talk to me about including one of my stories in an upcoming anthology he will be releasing through his new publishing company. I immediately wrote back. We exchanged messages and the deal was done.

Even better, it seems he is interested in looking at more from me. His niche is Science Fiction/Fantasy/Horror with a queer twist. As the majority of the stories I’ve had published, including my first solo anthology, have been in the erotica genre, this will be a nice change. I have several folders crammed with more “mainstream” (meaning non-erotic) stories that will fit his bill nicely. Haven’t had much luck getting them out there, because they tend to play with conventions in unconventional ways and it’s hard to find just the right niche. I write ‘em and file ‘em away, in the hopes that someday their niche will come.

Who knew that could actually work? Though it sounds like I’m making light of this situation, this is certainly not a trivialization. I may be lackadaisical about the publishing process, but I am far from adverse to its lure. I am extremely grateful to Jody Wheeler and his doorQ.com minions for taking the time to hunt me down and offer me this opportunity. And, yes, I admit that it wouldn’t have happened, or would at least have been more difficult, had I deleted this blog. So it gets a reprieve of sorts and I get another promising gig. The muse works in mysterious ways. I guess good things really do come to those who wait. Or waffle, as the case may be…

on starting fresh

I’ve never been one for “resolutions.” Especially the New Year variety; because, seriously, like anything I vow to “work on” in the new year is actually going to be decided in a drunken moment, surrounded by equally marinated friends and acquaintances, during the final hours of the previous year? I don’t think so. Peer pressure is never the key to personal advancement. In fact, I can arguably say that it is the antithesis.

“You’ve already given up on your New Year resolution?!?”

“Yeah, there was just too much pressure.”

“It’s only the 3^rd of January!”

“So, I only made that resolution because I couldn’t think of anything else to say.”

Who hasn’t been there?

No, I believe that resolutions as a parlor game have become standard issue in the big book of dysfunctional social enabling. As such, they have become suspect. Besides, if I decide to lose 100 pounds, or stop smoking faerie dust or terrorizing felines with loud noises and sudden movement, it won’t be something I tie to the symbolic turning of a new calendar year. It’ll be because a Valkyrie has whispered in my ear and instilled the fear of ruined reputations and dark confined spaces in me. You know, a prophetic vision of the future, Ebenezer Scrooge-style.

All that said, I actually have one resolution to enact for this new year, if only because it happens to coincide with all that symbolic trollop-flop. I can PUT it in the form of a resolution, without applying all the stigma that most “resolutions” automatically bring with them, simply by virtue of knowing that this was not a snap decision, but rather an informed one rooted in the irrefutable existence of the all-knowing Book of Destiny. After all, to make such a proclamation, then willfully refuse to call it a resolution, would be hipster arrogance and NObody can accuse me of being one of those… But I digress.

My resolution is this: I will dedicate as much spare time to REAL writing as is feasibly possible and regain the discipline I once had to make every available minute count. Whew. It may not sound like much to most, but it’s a tall order for the out-of-shape banana slug I have become over the past three or four years. Yes, I do write every single day, but most of the time it doesn’t go beyond an extended journal rant. Hey, writing is writing and I DO tend to get VERY colorful in my EJRs, but I still believe it’s time to up the ante a bit. Take advantage of the situations that have arisen and the opportunities that are being offered.

Unlike most resolutions, this one is far from impossible. I HAVE done it before--quite successfully, thank you—and there is absolutely no reason why I can’t do it again. Well… aside from the fact that I don’t have the kind of money coming in that I did back then. Or the luxury of working from home… But, hell, it’s a whole new year! A time for making changes, by all the feral gods! A time for making resolutions! After all, what do I have to lose but my personal dignity and the respect of my peers? Considering I don’t have much of either, this should be a walk in the park. At midnight. Naked.

Right?